What's this?
The all-new Renault Espace. And when we say all-new, we mean new engines, platform, suspension, interior design - it's as blank a sheet of paper as you'll see for a new vehicle.
Doesn't look much like an Espace either...
Which was exactly the intention. Slab-sided, van-like MPVs are now about as fashionable as bumbags, so Renault's rummaged around in the toybox marked ‘Crossover Styling'. The result is an extra 40mm of ground clearance over the old Espace, wheels sized between 18 and 20 inches in diameter, and pumped-out arches.
It's supposed to look like France's best engineering project since the Eiffel Tower: the high-speed TGV. The seven-seat Espace isn't quite as rakish as the 300mph train, but a cunning application of chrome around the chopped windowline does distract your eye from the oblong shape.
In the flesh, it's a clever piece of design - pleasingly detailed and easily the most interesting-looking MPV since the original Ford S-Max.
Blah blah. MPVs are all about the interior, no?
And the Espace has one to write home about. Let's start in the back, where you'll find a keypad that can lower the five rear seats remotely. You either pick and choose the squabs to fold, or hit one button and watch them all drop in unison, leaving a monstrous 2000-litre cargo bay.
It's a genius idea that'll impress the kids and make parents' lives a little easier. Until you fold the seats back up again - that requires muscle.
The rearmost seats are a kid-only zone, but the middle three will easily take three adults without much grumble. The plumply stuffed leather chairs are supremely comfortable, almost Volvo-like, wherever you're sitting, and the fact they're no longer entirely removable has helped towards a - wait for it - 250kg (!) weight saving versus the old Espace.
What were the old chairs made of? Lead?
Most of that massive weight loss is thanks to an all-new platform that's been developed to support the bigger cars in the Renault-Nissan alliance. Future SUVs and crossovers will all borrow the Espace's skeleton.
One of them may well be a seven-seat SUV for Brits. The reason? Renault has decided not to offer the Espace in the UK this time, four decades after pretty much inventing the European MPV. No right-hand drive this time, however.
Why not?
Renault's bosses argue the numbers don't add up. They point to freefalling MPV sales, as fickle buyers gravitate towards the likes of the Hyundai Santa Fe, Kia Sportage and even Land Rover's Disco Sport for their seven-seat, family car kicks.
‘Never say never' is the reply when you ask if that tactic could change - the chassis will accept RHD - and we were promised, "if we see queues out of dealers and around the block, we will think about changing our minds". But for the foreseeable future, this Espace isn't for us Brits.
Ouch.
Here's hoping the Espace's fabulous dashboard previews what we can expect in the new Megane hatch, which we most definitely will be offered in Blighty.
Renault's completely re-approached its cabin design, blessing the Espace with a ‘floating' console topped with a freestanding glassy tablet. Its touch-sensitive shortcut buttons are haphazard (and oddly orientated for right-hand drive) but the 8.7-inch touchscreen itself is a triumph - clear, snappy and intuitive. Range Rover Sport owners would weep at this level of user-friendliness from an infotainment screen.
What does it do?
Everything. Obviously the tablet has nav and phone gubbins built-in, but it'll also adjust the myriad driver assist gadgets, flip the seats down, change the ambient lighting and offer a baffling array of driving modes, similar to Audi's Drive Select pick'n'mix. More on that in a moment.
The cabin isn't quite a home run for Renault though. Several of the trim panels in our test cars squeaked and groaned, and the (surprise surprise) aeroplane-inspired gearlever is dreadful.
If the Wright Brothers had come up with something this awkwardly nasty to use when developing their plane, they'd have packed up and gone back to fixing bicycles.
Does how the Espace drives really matter?
Ordinarily in an MPV, handling is low on the priority list, but Renault has gone so extravagantly to town on the new Espace that we're paying attention.
There are no fewer than five driving modes - predictable Neutral and Eco settings are joined by a wholly unnecessary Sport and Comfort options, plus an individual ‘Perso' mode.
These modes alter not just the steering weight, throttle response and gearbox mapping, but even the adjustable dampers, rear-wheel steering system (really) and air-con. Really.
Comfort mode automatically wakes a masseuse from within the driver's seat, who sets about jabbing you in the back with a rolling pin. It's possibly the most radical French tech-fest since the Citroen SM, this.
And the result is?
Not good enough. The modes offer little noticeable distinction - the ride remains lollopingly soft, yet still crashy over sharp ridges. And for such a big bus, the vague steering's wandering lightness is a real bugbear, making the Espace a nightmare to place in city traffic.
The much more simply set-up Ford S-Max is likely to be a far better compromise.
Similarly, the petrol engine (a 197bhp refugee from the RS Clio) is eager and smooth, but hamstrung by the dim-witted seven-speed dual-clutch gearbox, which could fool you into believing it's actually a CVT. The diesel is better, with more torque and only six speeds to juggle, but neither is really happy at anything more strenuous than a motorway waft, with wind noise blasting around the mirrors.
So we're not missing much?
Driving-wise, the only piece of tech we'd save is the four-wheel steering, which gives the Espace an uncanny Clio-like turning circle, and excellent high-speed stability.
Otherwise, the Espace feels like a collection of brilliant ideas, which haven't all been exactingly executed. In the UK, it probably won't be missed, given how polished Ford's MPVs are.
We like the design touches tremendously, but most of the driving tech needs a rethink before it finds its way onto whatever we're getting in the UK...
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