A facelift to the DS5? Should we file under ‘nothing to see here'?
Au contraire, mes amis. Bear with us. First, it's not the Citroen DS5. The Citroen nameplate is nowhere to be seen. This is the first car in Europe where the DS nameplate is born as a marque by itself, the third brand of PSA: Peugeot, Citroen and DS. As such it's the DS[space]5.
That must be the feeblest trick in the book of desperate marketing wheezes. Old car, new grille, new name: huzzah. Do they really think they'll fool us?
Your cynicism would normally be justified. We felt the same before we drove it. But guess what? The changes might be small, but they transform the car.
How's that possible with a new chrome grille?
We'll come to the cosmetics later. First the suspension. The DS5 in its Citroen days was always an intriguing and handsome design with a lovely interior. But it was unbuyable because of an awful crashy and shuddery ride, bad enough to pervert the steering as well as subvert your comfort.
Not now. It's nicely supple and placid at all speeds. It floats a bit over big fast undulations but that's a small price to pay. The steering is oddly springy around the centre but has really rather nice old-fashioned feel at the grip limit because it's hydraulic. The column doesn't chatter over bumpy sections like it did either.
I was expecting them to tell me it had new subframe mounts and bushes, new springs, all sorts of changes. But no. All they've done is change the dampers. Nothing fancy or adaptive, just a well-judged passive design with 'pre-loaded valves'.
And they raised the ride height a smidge. That's it. Brilliant tweakery.
So that's the main objection sorted?
While the engineers were at it, the drivelines received some love. The head-tossing robotised manual box has gone, replaced by a proper auto option. And nearly all the engines have had a makeover for Euro 6 with significant CO2 cuts and economy improvements, at least in the official tests. The 150bhp diesel is just 104g/km, which is very good. Less good: its performance is no better than middling. And it's a bit vocal, which is noticeable in an otherwise quiet and civilised car. The 1.6 petrol suffers the same faults.
Anything else?
Indeed. Citroen has ditched the dim-witted old satnav in favour of a quicker-thinking touchscreen-based system, with additional connected apps and smartphone linking (mirroring is Android-only at the mo, but then Apple CarPlay ain't that good yet. And anyway all connected apps in all cars go phut unless there's good 3G or 4G signal, and along most roads there isn't).
And the facelift itself?
Well, the new nose features a bigger cross-hatched grille and its winged chrome surround, plus LED dipped beams that swivel for corners.
Something similar will be seen across the board for DS. That implies facelifts are on the way for the Citroen DS3 and DS4, turning them into the DS 3 and DS 4. Then by 2020 all these cars will be replaced, and three more DSs - two of them crossovers - will be added. That'll make a range of six.
Can I buy one?
If you have £26k and up and wait until July. The changes to the DS5 give you permission to get one. The original DS5 was a highly desirable car, but its dynamics were a deal-breaker.
The new DS 5 might not be class-leading dynamically, but it's plenty good enough not to repel you. And the desirability and uniqueness remain intact.
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